You walk out of the courthouse, the divorce is final then BAM! Reality sets in; I’m actually a single mom now! As you sit in your car your heart starts racing; you feel relieved yet scared out of your mind!
You’re thinking; I can do this yet as you’re cheering yourself on, your creepy, little Negative-Nancy voice is nudging you and your whole train of thought shifts to the left; “No, wait, I can’t do this alone!” What was I thinking? I’m doomed!
- How will I raise my kids alone?
- I’ll never be able to afford all those bills, groceries, insurance, etc.!
- Juggling kids, work and life will be impossible!
- We could lose everything and end up living under a bridge in a box?
- What if my kids blame me for everything and want to live with their dad?
Oh, and I’ll never have a social life, extra money or even a vacation until they’re grown!
Then a light bulb comes on over your head! You say, “I’ll call family and friends; someone is bound to know what I should do! One by one each call, remains useless. Now you feel worse and more alone than you did before.
Your head is spinning & inside you’re screaming, “no one understands and I will surely fail!”
The truth is, single lady, you’re still the same optimistic person you were when walked into that courthouse. Stay calm. It’s only your crazy imagination corrupting your mind but guess who’s in charge of your mind? YOU! 100%!
“I lived through this; if I can do it, you can too!”
Here are some tips to stop your mental corruption!
1- Trick your mind and make your body follow: It’s survival of the fittest! You are super-woman (picture it in your mind)! Believe & know you can and will do whatever it takes to be the best!
Repeat these words over and over; “I can and will…I can and will…etc.”, every day! It will become muscle memory; like turning a light switch on that you never think about doing because it happens naturally.
2- Punch fear right in the face! Be fierce! GROWL if you have to! Do it like you’re knocking down a door to get out of a burning building! Determination and willpower are key actions you must have! No quitting allowed!!
3- Breathe: Life can be overwhelming at times, and taking on a new role can be even tougher. When this happens, step back, go outside or to a quiet room and take a deep breath and repeat #1 & 2 above.
4- Climb up on your positive-propitious-pedestal: No looking back! No, what- if’s? No negative daydreaming. No revengeful thoughts. (By the way, most exes hate to see you happy & successful so that’s revenge in itself.) Look out the front windshield and leave the past in the rearview mirror. Full speed ahead!
5- Be ProActive: Stay busy! I can’t say this enough. If you have time to think too much, you may crash head-first in life’s pity-party-pool. When I look back, I don’t know how I kept going at times except that I didn’t have idle time to think too much about anything except “living in the now”. Just let it happen!
6- Don’t be afraid to ask for help: Even the proudest, most independent people have needed some help along the way. Just don’t over-step your boundaries and become “the needy woman” that people start avoiding.
7- Lastly, make time for you: YES YOU! Whether it’s 30 minutes in the bathtub, meditating, going to the gym or out with friends, just do it! Your sanity is at stake and “your life” matters too. You’ll be a better person for it and you won’t be tempted to bark at innocent people.
Plus “you-time” gives you something to look forward to and that’s more important than you would believe.
This life is yours Super Woman-Single mom…so take a deep breath,
go home, sling open that front door, hold your shoulders back, and add a smirky smile showing them all who’s the head of the household now!
This positive journey begins with YOU!
Did you go through this or know someone going through this right now? What advice, if any, did you give them or do you have?
If this was helpful to you, pass me along like a fresh salt shaker at the table!